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Sunday, February 4, 2024

Aging wisdom helps me like myself

Looking back on my life, I often bemoan how many jobs I lost, how many organizations made it real clear they did not want me around. For long times these experiences would cause me sadness; I’d wonder what is wrong with me.

Only lately at age 75 looking back on those same times do I realize, bad guys don’t want honest people around. When people are getting away with a con, last thing they want is an intuitively nosey journalist poking around asking questions, and that's what I do, that's what I am. All my life I conjured my way to the inner circles and top levels of places just from a natural born instinct I've always had to dig up the truth and expose dishonesty.
Maybe since I was a sex crime victim at age five – six, alertness to danger implanted itself in my DNA. At age 6 your cells are still forming, so mine formed with an inherent distrust, making me hyper sensitive of potential perpetrators from that age on.
So all my life criminal types didn't want me around, and I finally realize that's not something I should feel bad about. I feel bad about being lonely in my old age, yeah, but I was never purposely bad. I just live on a planet full of bad people.

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Humbling...

Watching Gaza and HORRIBLE things people there are experiencing makes me feel like my little injustice where my sexuality got screwed up is So Insignificant- as bad as it was, thousands of humans are going through ten times worse right now. Humbling... 

Tuesday, December 12, 2023

  "Movements can really scramble your personal life."

-Thom Hartmann this AM amen

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Pedophile priests presaged USA self destruction

If Jim Jordan becomes House Speaker, it means the damage and moral sickness from thousands of priests getting away with pedophilia has penetrated into the American zeitgeist and is corrupting and destroying our nation's very foundation.

REWRITE

If Jim Jordan becomes House Speaker, it shows that thousands of Catholic priests getting away with pedophilia did so much cultural damage, it penetrated America at its core and corrupted our nation's very foundation. I think

Thursday, February 2, 2023

Validation comes to those who wait

It does my heart good to see the pedophile priest scandal show up in popular culture, like this dialogue. 

“What do you want to do first?  Shall we do the interview sketch?  Ease ourselves in gently as the bishop said to the choir boy.”  

Our work over past decades was not in vain. Everyone now knows what the priests did to us.  Line is from “Inside Number 9” Season 4 Episode 2, Bernie Clifton’s Dressing Room, on Britbox.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

This pedophile priest victim can identify with Alex Jones defamation trial plaintiffs

 The first time it happened, I was stunned. In 2012 I was embroiled in the experience of being a pedophile priest victim discovering there were hundreds of thousands of us all over the world. One day I went down to the mail room where residents in the senior housing complex where I lived gathered during the day to chat and someone asked me what I’d been doing, I said “writing on my blog.” I said “I'm one of the pedophile priest victims and I've been writing about those crimes now for about five years.” A guy near me rolled up next to me in his wheelchair and with a scowl and a sneer growled at me, “That never happened.” Then in an authoritative tone of voice he repeated things he’d heard and read, that there were not more than one or two errant priests, that the victims who came forward with decades old pedophile claims were just out to destroy the church and get money from lawsuit settlements.

I stammered, No, I've been researching and writing about this now for years, I know dozens of the victims, look at this web site and this web site where you can read about us and the thousands of priests who’ve been exposed. Type in “bishop accountability dot org” and read about thousands of perpetrator Catholic priests in the database, from A to Z. He would not listen.  He was already certain that the pedophile priest survivor movement was a hoax. The other residents in the mailroom watched us and listened and said nothing.

Now as I watch the Alex Jones defamation trial, I can't help thinking how similar my situation is to these people testifying today. I've since moved three times, to three different senior housing complexes, and finally learned that it's best if I just don’t tell anyone I'm a pedophile priest victim or I'll have to move again. I've been bullied, harassed, chased around a building, a live bat was let loose to fly around my apartment before I started locking the door all the time. I've heard those same words from sweet looking senior citizens who suddenly become like vipers, “That never happened.” “Those stories in the news are all exaggerated.” “There were only a few priests and all they did was touch a child on the shoulder.” "Those people are just out to destroy the church."

I'm not narcissistic enough to think my experience is as important as what the Alex Jones defamation plaintiffs are describing, where total strangers claim the Sandy Hook school shooting in 2012 was a hoax, that the murdered children never existed.  But it does seem significant that we share a side effect of this era of disinformation in the USA, causing the most innocent persons to withdraw from society, hide behind our doors, avoid intimate conversations with persons we meet.  The bullies are in charge, the liars and maligners with mysterious agendas are winning the information war.

I now live in my fourth senior housing complex in ten years, after bullying and harassment incidents got so bad I had to move from the previous three, soon after I let it slip that I was a pedophile priest survivor. Now I don't mention my blog about predator Catholic priests to anyone, I don't even let people I meet know my last name so they can't google me. 

There's a knock on my door just now. My blood pressure rises, I freeze in fear. I'll just stay quiet in here until whoever it is goes away… 

*
Posted by Kay Ebeling
Producer of City of Angels Blog
the city of angels is everywhere

Thursday, May 12, 2022

Catholic bishops get away with pedophile priest crime diversion and coverup so much, no one even notices anymore

*

*Can't help thinking that if the Catholic Church had done the right thing and admitted its guilt and made amends to its thousands of victims past two decades, it would have set an example for the rest of the world and, perhaps, everything would be going in a more positive direction all over the globe right now.*

The bishops quoted in the article below are getting away with saying, "There are too many victims of pedophile priests. Paying the settlements is causing us hardship." No One is pointing out, YES there are too many pedophile priest victims. SNAP, the “advocacy group” that is supposed to speak for victims responds with a statement that gets in the news with words such as "solace and justice" and "slap in the face to victims" which could apply to ANYONE anywhere talking about ANYTHING. Since SNAP ruffles no feathers, they get quoted. 

We're talking about eleven year old boys being sodomized and six year old girls being finger banged (me) by Catholic priests, and advocates don't want to be too abrasive. No one uses descriptive language. Every news group that reports this story will euphemize it as being about “clergy abuse” so someone who has not read a lot about these crimes thinks maybe a reverend patted an altar boy’s behind one time. 

I have no voice anymore; my blog was sidelined for ruffling too many feathers. Other writers on the topic no longer have a voice. The “advocates" are more concerned about keeping their non profits thriving and ruffling feathers gets them in trouble, so their news releases never step outside the boundaries of approved corporate language. Victims who actually THINK things through are not heard. The Church gets away with another one. 

A real response to this news from the bishops from victims' advocates would be: "Yes the number of pedophile priest victims is so high and alarming that settlements are costing you a lot of money. So Sell Some Assets and Make Things Right!"

This is the article first paragraphs:

California Catholic bishops ask Supreme Court to review case challenging statute of limitations

May 6, 2022

by Alejandra Molina,

Catholic bishops in California have asked the U.S. Supreme Court to review a case challenging a state law that expands the time survivors of childhood sexual assault have to file their claims.

The petition, first reported this week by the Catholic News Agency was filed April 15 by nine California Catholic dioceses and archdioceses after the California Supreme Court refused to consider the case — Roman Catholic Bishop of Oakland v. Superior Court of California of Los Angeles County — in November.

In 2002, California enacted a one-year window for plaintiffs to bring sexual-abuse claims against the Catholic Church and others "even if the statute of limitations had expired many decades before," the bishops said in their petition.

When that year ended, the state attempted to revive lapsed claims three more times, but former Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed each bill, the petition notes. But Brown's successor, Gavin Newsom, signed legislation in 2019 that allowed certain assault victims more time to bring suits, which the bishops are calling "an unconstitutional double-revival regime." 

"This time," the bishops' petition reads, "defendants' past conduct is subject not only to claims for compensatory and punitive damages that were previously time-barred twice over, but also to additional penalties (in the form of 'treble' damages) based on a newly defined category of 'cover up' activity."

The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or SNAP, lambasted the bishops' petition in a statement Wednesday (May 4).

"To attempt to invalidate this law by going around the lawmakers now is at best disingenuous and is also a slap in the face to the thousands of victims — not just Catholic victims — seeking solace and justice," SNAP said in the statement....

***

See what I mean? The exact words of the SNAP statement could be used to defend the church against the pedophile priest victims and our pesky complaints. THERE IS NO ONE ADVOCATING FOR THE PEDO PRIEST CRIME VICTIMS ANYMORE. As usual, SNAP’s statement is so "safe" it could be advocating for anyone. They even say "not just Catholic victims" always more concerned about covering their asses and growing their donor base than accomplishing anything real.. 

Of course the church wants to stop having to pay out settlements to the adults who were raped by their priests as children. The Vatican and all Catholic hierarchy only care about their assets.

So now I go back to my private exile. It does me No Good to even care about the church's response to the pedophile priest crisis anymore. I only posted this on my blog to keep from running the sentences over and over in my head when I'm trying to nap. 

If the persons who have the power to effect change are not going to do anything, why am I wasting my time on it?

So I sit here in my mountain resort watching the entire United States, this wonderful political experiment, fall apart. 

Can't help thinking that if the Catholic Church had done the right thing and admitted its guilt and freely made amends to its thousands of victims past two decades, it would have set an example for the rest of the world and, perhaps, everything would be going in a more positive direction all over the globe right now.

But they didn't.  and it isn’t.  And I need to go walk under the trees. 

-

Kay Ebeling 

South Lake Tahoe CA

ADD:

This Facebook post I wrote earlier in the day somehow seems connected:

I have concluded that the USA does not exist anymore. When we pulled out of Afghanistan that was the last of it but the demise of our nation started in Iraq around 2002. I really think someone else who is not American is running the whole government now, and they are not letting us know. So we all tweet and write FB posts and LTE's and join campaigns saying what we think the DOJ and Congress and President should do; we all agree what they should do, and they don't do any of it. So on the left and the right, we all tweet and post and express outrage but nothing gets done.
I even think whoever is pulling the strings is also releasing news stories on purpose to rile us up, turn us against each other. The supreme court "leak" re abortion rights is a great example. I've NEVER seen so much hatred and vitriol posted by persons who claim to be "progressive" in my 74 years.
Someone hits our knees with a hammer and our legs jerk up and then the guys in Russia or Saudi Arabia or whoever is running this show all Laugh and Laugh and then do something else to rile us up and turn us against each other even more.
So I'm asking my friends to please, accept it that the USA does not exist anymore, and come to South Lake Tahoe and join me. We can have parties, coffees, enjoy the rest of our lives and just ignore the fricking news, ignore the politicians, ignore the elections even. Pretty sure for first time in my life I'm going to sit this election out. I mean, why bother? The Dems don't accomplish anything but talk talk talk. they talk and then there's no effective follow up. Ever.
I'm so discouraged but also kinda grateful that I already had all hope and faith vacuumed out of me in the 20 years or so I dealt with the church and its lawyers re being raped by a pedophile priest at age five. I mean, if no one else, you'd expect the Vatican to be benevolent, but all the Catholic bishops did in response to that shocking crisis with more than 100K victims was protect their assets. So now when the entire U.S. Government is failing in the same way, I'm totally scabbed and calloused from previous scars. Nothing bothers me anymore except seeing my fellow americans fall for the sh-- again and again.
So, Please, Friends, Colleagues, Come to South Lake Tahoe. The air here is still relatively clean, 80 degrees is a heatwave. We'll start a movement for rejection of everything but sun fun and vodka.
look forward to seeing you all soon...
-kay

***
Onward


Thursday, April 28, 2022

To MTGreene: There is real pedophile crime in the Catholic Church: Proof

Lately Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has been accusing politicians of pedophilia with no credible evidence or proof. She also recently said the Catholic Church is run by Satan because of Catholic Charities’ policy on immigration.

Why has Mrs. Greene never made the connection between the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and  thousands of pedophile priests in the United States, most of them never incarcerated, just removed from priesthood so they can live freely in American neighborhoods?

This link takes you to a database of pedophile priests in the Catholic Church with credible, documented accusations: https://www.bishop-accountability.org/accused/ You can click on names from A to Z on this webpage to find close to seven thousand perpetrators identified in the recent period that pedophile priest victims have come forward, roughly 1995 to the present. No pedophile priest gets into this database with just one accusation. The charges have to be confirmed adequately for a civil attorney to accept a client and for a judge to pass judgment for a lawsuit to proceed; or in some cases, a newspaper article with attribution gets a priest into the database. No one can just announce “he's a pedophile” to get a name into this database; you have to have proof to get your perpetrator onto this website.

If the Congresswoman wants to prevent pedophilia in America, why hasn’t she publicized the priests in the bishopaccountability database? Why isn’t she angry about the obscene number of Catholic clergy who got away with this horrible sex crime against children?

I'm one of a hundred thousand victims in the USA today and for 15 years I wrote a blog from a victim’s point of view that you can read here: http://cityofangels3.blogspot.com and http://cityofangels12.blogspot.com for an idea of the kind of real crime the Church got away with. Since most the victims were marginalized and silenced when we tried to get out information about these crimes, the pedophilia is likely still going on in the Church. I would applaud Mrs. Greene if she turned her outrage onto something that really deserves outrage.

Thank you, 
Kay Ebeling, South Lake Tahoe CA

Monday, June 21, 2021

Soon after posting this on Facebook my computer got hacked, hmm

The Catholic Church harbored more than six thousand pedophile priests (and counting) they were in Every Archdiocese in the country, so it's hard to believe the other "innocent priests" did not know about these sex crimes against children. They Have No Right to claim moral authority about abortion or Anything Else.

As one of a hundred thousand pedophile priest victims in USA, I WISH Biden would stop going to Mass in such a public way.

A girl named Cindy replied: 

Kay Ebeling I go to Mass every Sunday, I receive communion, I pray. Catholicism is my faith. I do not go to support sexual predators, nor does anyone I know. I do not agree with many of the politics of the church, but it is still my faith. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

 Why would anyone want anything to do with an organization that harbored 6000 pedophiles in recent history, let alone go to them for spirituality. Sorry, I don't get it. I think you have been kept from the truth about the extent of these crimes, and you don't realize that your proclaiming how great your church is RETRAUMATIZES the hundred thousand plus victims and that's just in USA. read here: http://bishopaccountability.org
BishopAccountability.org – Documenting the Catholic Sexual Abuse and Financial Crisis – Data on bishops, priests, brothers, nuns, Pope Francis, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
BISHOP-ACCOUNTABILITY.ORG
BishopAccountability.org – Documenting the Catholic Sexual Abuse and Financial Crisis – Data on bishops, priests, brothers, nuns, Pope Francis, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
BishopAccountability.org – Documenting the Catholic Sexual Abuse and Financial Crisis – Data on bishops, priests, brothers, nuns, Pope Francis, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
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Kay Ebeling

I've turned off notifications as I Do Not Want to hear any more from people defending this church. To me, it's really weird to continue going to Catholic Church after all this, How can you trust them with anything? Rhetorical question only.

 One more point: The Pedophilia was widespread and in Every Archdiocese in the country, so it's almost impossible that other priests did not know about it. They just turned their heads the other way.

*
Someone tell Joe Biden to stop making such public display of his prayer and Mass going, hasn't he read the Sermon on the Mount? 

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Sorry to interrupt your "prayers" but...

I Am Still So Angry about the pedophile priests getting away with their crimes while today Catholics are empowered by Biden's public display of faith. For some reason the "clergy abuse" subject is coming up on Facebook and Twitter again, and the rage inside me is hard to contain. Not just about the pedophilia, but the way the church covered up the mass molestation. As a hundred thousand victims came forward to report crimes of 6000 priests last two decades, we never got help or "pastoral care" as the church claimed, nor did we get support from victims organizations that appeared in the media to "speak for" us. All anyone did was Damage Control to shut us up, and now the brainwashed believers are all reverent and acting like We Are The Problem, the victims living with permanent damage, still trying to publicize the crimes, as we are interrupting their mesmerizing. I truly believe the reason the planet and politics are destructing right now is that from the Vatican on down, religious leaders set the tone: Screw victims protect your assets. Claiming to have God On Your Side is a great way to prevent criticism. Ebeling out -

Kay Ebeling

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

 Notice all the child sex crimes all over world lately?

Maybe since priests got away with it, it's open season now

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Andrew Cunanan was yet another screwed up altar boy

 The Archbishop of Miami said, "Joseph's colorful coat could have been a Versace," at a memorial service right after the designer's 1997 murder. The bishop also sang a Madonna song and embarrassed a cathedral full of attendees, PLUS no one asked them to do the service, the archdiocese just sent out a press release announcing it, messing up police legwork, as they freaked that Andrew Cunanan would attend and shoot people. But Catholic hierarchy joined in the media frenzy and grabbed a PR opportunity. Ah those bishops…. I'm reading "Vulgar Favors" by Maureen Orth, a phenomenal accomplishment of journalism. Also Cunanan was an altar boy who grew up to be a male prostitute / really screwed up serial killer of gay men. Hmm

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

My perp church has a new perp priest and I might have seen him with a young boy back in 2008 looking secretive

Wow. My perp church has a new perp priest and I'm pretty sure I shot video of him bringing a boy into the rectory one afternoon when I was in Bartlett in 2012 doing research, now have to go searching for it wow. St. Peter Damian Church Bartlett IL :FatherChristopher Ciomek, Pastor Of St. Peter Damian Parish In Bartlett, Removed Amid30-Year-Old Child Sex Abuse Claims

Found it 

SATURDAY, JULY 19, 2008 Video of boy running into rectory from garage at St. Peter Damian church yesterday. . .

It was on my first trip to Chicago in 2008:  https://cityofangels4.blogspot.com/2008/07/video-of-boy-running-into-rectory-from.html?fbclid=IwAR0EFypm_4ffsov1-t1de6j85f5agljartvjsPlD911DYwf_-goX2V628sc

  • Video of boy running into rectory from garage at St. Peter Damian church yesterday. . .
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    Video of boy running into rectory from garage at St. Peter Damian church yesterday. . .
    Video of boy running into rectory from garage at St. Peter Damian church yesterday. . .
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  • Previous post says: Just for the heck of it I was videoing the empty parking lot at St. Peter Damian church yesterday, the new buildings, the rectory. I panned over by the garage and there was a teenage boy taking things out of a trunk and very quickly running into the rectory. I'm even sort of narrating as I do the boring stupid video, there’s the building, there’s all this asphalt, and there’s a teenage boy running into the rectory.
    THERE'S A TEENAGE BOY running into the rectory.
    Call me Scoop. You can’t see it on the video which is in a post below this one here at City of Angels. Maybe if there is a way to zoom way in and enhance, you can see it. A teenage boy was unloading something from the trunk of a car in the garage and taking it into the rectory just when I happened to be there.
    THERE WAS NOBODY else around. One other car in the parking lot. So maybe one other person was in the rectory.
    It was a business day. The parking lot at Evangel Church had a sprinkling of staff cars. The parking lot at St. Peter Damian’s was empty but for one car, and this teenage boy unloading something from a car in the garage into the area where the priests live. . .
    I wandered around to the other side of the rectory and found a yellow ladder leaning against the building, leading up to a window, probably a bedroom window. There's a picture of that below.
    Okay. It all probably has perfectly innocent explanations. Teenage boys always rush in the back entrances of rectories on days when no one else is around.